I found this fascinating article by Jed Diamond, PhD, is the author of 16 books on Gender Medicine and Men’s Health. He talks about male irritability, anger, and violence as huge problems in today’s world, but he believes that the root is in this "feeling of loneliness and emptyness" men often feel.
He explains that like most boys growing up, he was taught to suppress his feelings, to be tough, never to show weakness. Also, like most children, he needed love, care, nurturing, and support which were not always available in his family.
Here are some interesting reads of the article I singled out:
Vivek H. Murthy, M.D. is the 19th Surgeon General of the United States. In his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, he says, “During my years caring for patients, the most common condition I saw was not heart disease or diabetes; it was loneliness.” The problem definitely isn’t about hearts and flowers and diamonds in the sky. He says, “Loneliness is the root cause and contributor to many of the epidemics sweeping the world today—from alcohol and drug addiction to violence to depression and anxiety.”
He also recognizes the unique impact on men and the way it is connected to male anger. “For years, researchers have observed a connection between loneliness and violence,” says Dr. Murthy. “As evolutionary research has taught us, the main reason for this behavior is fear, sometimes amounting to terror, that becomes embedded in the trauma of loneliness.”
World-renowned psychiatrist Frieda Fromm-Reichman recognized that men who suffered from loneliness were often unwilling to admit to being lonely. “I think that this may be in part determined by the fact that loneliness is a most unpopular phenomenon in this group-conscious culture,” she wrote.
She went on to observe: “Lonely men often end up alienating those closest to them with their antisocial behavior. They would rage or withdraw, hurl insults or feign indifference. Though craving human company, they pushed people away.”
According to studies conducted by the National Institutes of Health,
“Research has linked social isolation and loneliness to higher risks for a variety of physical and mental conditions: high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, a weakened immune system, anxiety, depression, cognitive decline, Alzheimer’s disease, and even death.”
According to a study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University, “Lack of social connection heightens health risks as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and its greater than the risk associated with excess alcohol consumption, lack of exercise, and twice as harmful to physical and mental health as obesity.”
He also mentions what he learned throuh the years and underlines the importance of understanding how loneliness can undermine our health and well-being.