In the town I live in there were a few cases where guys who were deliquents ( committed several fights, broke the rules many times and even they believed that they can't change) became police officers out of the blue and changed completely. One of them grew up in my neighborhood and I knew him really well. That's why I was so positively surprised by the change in his personality I noticed (he became so responsible and caring). It made me wonder what can be the reason for this huge change. Could the reason be that this person let go of the "label" he was carrying for so many years and the belief that he was just that- "a deliquent". Or maybe the single opportunity he got to serve the country and do good for others.
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this.
Certainly, there's room for change. As a youth you're still undergoing brain maturation, your long-term personality is still being refined by the neuronal networks being trimmed.
However, being called a police officer as pointed out by other commenters, does not automatically remove red flag behaviors. In fact, the power that comes with the name may make destructive traits worse.
The only way to know is to observe the actions, a general rule I abide by is to ignore what's being said by someone and concentrate on their actions...I have to use another Sherlock Homes quote here 😂:
Although Holmes is talking about an individual's occupation here, you can imagine that characteristics too would become evident.
"By a man's finger-nails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boots, by his trouser-knees, by the callosities of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt-cuff — By each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent inquirer in any case is almost inconceivable."
thank you for this. I am also a little apprehensive to believe a cop means someone is super successful and “is a good guy now”…cops are not always the good guy, and he may be a delinquent who is now in denial and with a gun…yikes ! I however appreciate the question: “can people change?” and from my work as a structural consultant looking at identity issues (Robert Fritz Inc, my dads work), people are exposed to their (often negative) belief about themselves, and because of the positivity movement and human potential movement (a place where this question of change is often posed), they have often created an ideal around their “issue” to make themselves feel better when in fact the structure hasn’t changed and therefore the behavior is incapable of change. Without a clear underlying structure, people manipulate, lie to themselves, recite affirmations, become narcissistic in that they must “prove” that what they really think of themselves is not true and to “hide it” from society. In my work and all I have witnessed in these structural consulting sessions, I can affirm for myself and many others that you can absolutely change, and it starts with humility and eating the humble pie of your own destructive pattern, coming to terms with the truth of what you actually think of yourself that is negative, and then being able to have the realization that one is free and autonomous from this belief. It requires being honest with oneself and really looking at what “feeds” the structure people are in. Once you know your osscilating pattern, you can then choose a new structure, one that actually works. It requires a deep honest and thorough look at reality, and reality is an aquire taste to say the least.
I wouldn't say becoming a cop is always a huge change from delinquency. I also know a lot of people who took this sort of path, but many cops have violent tendencies and sometimes become just better at concealment or maybe are sublimating through this work